Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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