ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize