It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
