Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
