If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
