Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize