Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
