I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
