So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
