turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
