"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
