your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
