i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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