Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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