Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
