I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
