ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
