I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
