she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize