Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
