How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize