She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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