Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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