Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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