is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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