went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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