I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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