I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
