Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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