walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
These tits shall not be calmed
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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