living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
