Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
