I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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