There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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