just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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