Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
