Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize