I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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