you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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