I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
