dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
