Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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