last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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