there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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