Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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