Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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