It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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