I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
