chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
