I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
