discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
