It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
