Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
