I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
