Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
