He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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