D3 body, D1 cock
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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