I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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